What Makes a Hipster?

My boyfriend is attending The University of the Arts in Philadelphia so when I visit I can’t walk down Broad St without seeing a hoard of hipsters. So the question I ask is, what makes a hipster? Below are nine defining ways to notice, or if you want to try, to be a hipster.

1.) A hipster must be creative or at least have the appearance of being creative. Going to an art school is a good outlet or hanging out with other artsy people is important here.

2.) A hipster has to dress in the right hipster clothes. You will never see a hipster walking into Gap, even if all they need is a black shirt. As a hipster, one can shop in any price range, from Goodwill to Anthropologie, but you must look unique.

3.) Hipsters will never admit to being hipsters. They are too individualistic to be labeled, so never make the mistake of calling someone a hipster. You will leave that conversation feeling very ashamed without knowing exactly how you have been insulted.

4.) Be intelligent. This means follow world news, follow music and local bands, and blog a lot. Hipsters don’t have twitters and they only have 29 friends on facebook, blogs are where you uncover the real hipsters.

5.) Constantly criticize without being emo. The trick is not to criticize yourself, but everything else around you. Mainstream media is the enemy here, not yourself. Remember, Starbucks is an evil money grubbing corporation, but you can drink it, because it is an idealistic view that your refusal to drink Starbucks will change anything. Nobody needs to know that you can’t live without your soy double shot skinny vanilla latte.

6.) Be careful about what you eat. I know both types of hipsters, the kind that eat meat and those that don’t. If you are a hipster defending why you eat meat, you must have a better response than “Because it tastes so good!” (which is what my response would be).

7.) Hipsters own bikes. Just make sure it’s either a retro-style bike or creatively decorated, a plain bike or a bike that obviously is not a city bike is suicide.

8.) Organic is awesome. Not only will organic never be mainstream, no matter how hard Whole Foods tries, it has health benefits which hipsters are concerned with for some reason though drugs and alcohol are not really included in this thought process. If you can grow your own food in your city apartment, even better.

9.) Hipsters bathe. They want to achieve the just fallen out of bed look, hair slightly array and looking slightly disheveled at all times. At hipster parties you’ll notice no one looks like they would going to a bar or nightclub or even a mainstream party. You don’t spend noticeable time getting ready for a hipster party.

Remember, hipsters want to be unique and hate mass media. If you like Pretty Little Liars or Jersey Shore or look like you just stepped out of it, you are doing it wrong. Hipster is not a derogatory word it means you are an intelligent, witty, individualistic, world-conscious person. But you can’t be that, because you’re not a hipster, you’re unique.

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